9 Tips for Families Like Ours

There were only a few days of discouragement about adopting an African American child, so we're now back on track and just excited! Here are a few pointers, in no particular order, that we've picked up from other adoptive families on adopting someone of a different race.

1. Acknowledge the difference. God gave us different skin colors, and they are beautiful! It's natural to want to look the same.

2. Provide role models that look like your child. No one succeeds because of his race. Men of all nations and colors succeed because of who they are and what they do.

3. Spend time with similar families. There's comfort in knowing you're not alone. Thankfully, Utah has a large support group of families that have adopted transracially. With several get-togethers every week, we'll have lots of options for play.

4. Love African American culture. Add African American art, music, history books, and children's books to the home.

5. Look good! Take the time to learn how to care for and do beautiful, black hair. Bonus--go to a black hairstylist!

6. Celebrate the adoption. Praise God as a family for the adoption, not because of what it has done for the child, but because what it has done for the family.

7. Prepare for insult. We'll have to think about this one more, but many advise to talk about how to handle racial insults and racist behavior (as age allows): "It's not true, and it's not funny. You're revealing more about yourself than me!" Also, don't belittle reactions to received racism.

8. Involve the birth mother. To the level that is appropriate for everyone involved. At least save pictures and letters, and learn about her life. At best make her a friend and part of the family, with visits and gifts.

9. Teach the Bible. Okay, I added this one on my own, since I haven't heard one person say anything about how this would help adoptees. Not one! But it seems so obvious. "Child, God created you. And he chose you. Just the way you are. He made our family." Here is the gospel: Jesus died for sinners, that God would make them new, and adopt them to be co-heirs with him in his glory forever. Amen!

Those are our thoughts for now.